Friday, 13 December 2013

Monster

I have exerted myself beyond agony, pushed myself past exhaustion. I can flee no further, only hide and pray my footprints don't betray me. Sweat trickles down my back like spiders' whispers; I wince at each hot drip, convinced it will hiss as it hits snow, revealing me.

I hold myself still, sure the creature will feel the tremors shuddering through me with every suppressed breath, with the spasmodic rise and fall of my chest. Fear huffs from me in tiny clouds.

I know the monster. Knew her. Loved her, held her in my arms, wept for her. Buried her.





...
One of my rejected drabbles for the latest issue of 101 Fiction. Since I am giving in to the conceit of publishing one of my own stories I feel I certainly shouldn't be happy to just write one and say, "Yep, that's the best I'm going to do."

I really liked this one, I just felt Mercy had a fantastical edge that took it to a higher level. Both, interestingly, first person.

I've got a few more 'off-cuts' I might shine up and post here. In the mean time, please do click on over to 101 Fiction and read the December issue. Fifteen teeny tiny drabbles inspired by the themes of winter and undead. There's some real talent and real quality in those fifteen hundred words. =)


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16 comments:

  1. Cat Russell13 December 2013 at 16:37

    Oh, I really like this one! Especially the spider whispers and the twist at the end!

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    1. John Xero14 December 2013 at 00:09

      Thanks, Catherine. =)

      The spider whispers was one of those lines that came out of nowhere, but just seemed perfect. =)

      Delete
  2. John Wiswell13 December 2013 at 18:38

    The poor beloved monster. The poor survivor.

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  3. Claudia H. Blanton13 December 2013 at 23:51

    well done! You got me hooked despite the shortness of it, nice!

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  4. Steve Green14 December 2013 at 00:58

    As always with these kind of stories John, a great deal put into a small word count. Wonderful descriptive imagery.

    There is something unutterably terrifying about being hunted by someone/thing that you once loved, and that must have loved you back, like being attacked by your own dog.

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    1. John Xero14 December 2013 at 12:28

      Thank you, Steve. =)

      And yeah, I think there's whole dark area there that doesn't need any supernatural elements to be terrifying, unfortunately.

      Delete
  5. Helen A. Howell14 December 2013 at 02:24

    Good one John I too like the analogy of spiders whispers. Nice to see you posting in Friday Flash again. ^_^

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    1. John Xero14 December 2013 at 12:50

      Thanks, Helen. =)

      I don't think it will be a regular thing, unfortunately, but when I can. =)

      Delete
  6. Katherine Hajer14 December 2013 at 02:31

    Lovely and creepy. It left me wondering if it were more properly about monsters, plural.

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    1. John Xero14 December 2013 at 12:53

      Thanks, Katherine.

      Not intentionally, but I can see how it could be taken down that route. A little darkness on both sides.

      Delete
  7. Cindy Vaskova14 December 2013 at 18:30

    Proving that one needs only a 100 words to tell a story that spins a great deal of emotions written in a few lines. For monsters loved and feared.

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  8. Peter Newman18 December 2013 at 09:36

    Hey John, good to see you still wordslinging. I liked the "spider's whispers" line too.

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    Replies
    1. John Xero23 December 2013 at 08:21

      Thank you, Pete. Whatever may or may not come of it eventually, I'll never stop wordslinging.

      *rides off into the luminous sunset*

      Delete

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